I was ready to stay, I was ready to wait. I took the bus, eyes open but as if asleep, resting on the damp headrest, watching the rivers pass by, always looking the same, one by one on the road on and on, away. I had been there before. The sister kept telling me “you should abet your affection for the tobacco”, and she asked me why. Why this, why that. I looked for god, but I went to medicine. I tried to find trust in other men, but they just wanted a fuck. I tried to find love with women, and they just scoffed. “You’re a sweet boy, just stay true to yourself,” the sister murmured, grey hair shining like purple in the moonlight by the window, lighting a cigarette as long as a flagpole.

I walked on the beach, and at once noticed I had stopped, falling forward. The pompadour piines swung in the dimlight, the birds crowed as if they just found a new meal. I looked through a book filled with photos.. the beautiful landscapes, the sad spaces, all for me to look at with little use. Your unanswered letters, deleted emails, and lost contacts. The sun set in yellow, and the night came on with a belt.

Underneath rosewood and myrtle; it smells sour. Asleep, and then waking. It’s tomorrow, and as always, I’m still here.

Recorded in 2018. Full, uncut loop. A shorter, rippled tape edit was used for the compilation track “Of a Celestial Body”. All music by Will Long.

released April 12, 2020